I hate my job.

I have been trying to love this job.

Both my hands have been gripping it like a lifeline for what seems like a lifetime...telling myself its not that bad. The money sucks but sometimes i win contests and get gift-cards for amazon. I even did today - another $35.

Is that enough? Maybe a year ago it was enough to keep me interested... but that was before i realized how my mental health would suffer.. how i would begin to joke with coworkers that our bosses should start a "stress ball of the month club"...  

But all joking aside, the day in day and day out of being told by my supervisors that I am doing things wrong. And Managers saying I am doing things wrong... and then the customers upset at me. Some even swear at me for things out of my control... decisions I never made...

Daily. I am not kidding. It.. is ... daily.

Imagine daily being told you aren't good enough.

It is like having your soul stabbed over and over again.

I have almost run out of blood to bleed for this job. 

I even tried to move into a different position, had a great interview and was told I would know either way in two weeks...

... and that proved to be lie ... on a mountain of reasons to hate this job.  

People that are paid to be my teacher.... actually get upset at me when I ask a question.

I am miserable. 

Change is coming.

It has to.